Memories

A friend was going through her makeup and organizing it in her new dresser last week so I decided to do the same. I went through everything I have and threw out old stuff, determined what I do/don’t use anymore, and set aside good stuff for my sister/friend if either of them want it. I didn’t realize I have as much as I do until I laid it all out on my desk. Holy christmas trees in July…

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That was just the top drawer of three on my dresser – it was the only one that contained makeup. The other two drawers had receipts and notes and random papers and earrings and bracelets and movie tickets and things like that.

I was going through the drawers one by one. I would things out one by one and see what it was before determining if I wanted to keep it or throw it away. A lot of things I did end up throwing away though. Old jewelry that’s lost its stretch or doesn’t fit who I am now, notes from early high school, pictures from people who are no longer in my life.

It found the ticket for the Demolition Derby I went to back in 2007 with my youth group. That was really cool cause I didn’t know I still had it! I have a few movie tickets from Drive in September 2011, Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol in January 2012, and Lee Daniels’ The Butler in August 2013. I even remember who I went to each movie with!

The worst one was probably pulling out pictures that were upside down and turning them over to discover that they were of an ex-boyfriend who I had an absolutely awful breakup with. He thought we could try to stay friends, but then he made things more difficult than they needed to be and cut me out of his life completely. I was a little offended by it at first, but then I realized that I didn’t need someone like that in my life anyway and things have been easier without him 🙂

There was another tough one for me though. One of the notes I found was from a guy I had a massive crush on in 10th grade. And I mean massive crush… I didn’t recognize the handwriting at first, but once I started reading it everything came back like I had crashed into a brick wall. The good times and the bad. But I know that they’re now all just memories in my past that have done nothing but made me stronger in the end. He’s no longer in my life now either because he didn’t talk to me for years and after waiting around for that long, I gave up because it wasn’t good for me. And while yea I miss him, I’m doing ok without him too 🙂

I’m Slowing Coming Back to Life

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I haven’t put up a post in almost a month… And I figured I should get back to this whole blogging thing since my goal was once a week and I’ve miserably failed at that. I’m kicking myself for that because I really wanted to get into writing more, but there just wasn’t anything to say. Or if there was, I didn’t know how to say it in a way that I thought people would want to read. Not that I think many people read my blog anyway. This is really just for me. If anyone reads it or whatever, then that’s great, but it really doesn’t matter to me all that much I suppose.

Things have been a bit crazy for me lately. Tests and projects and snow days have been quite abundant. Along with plans being cancelled at the very last minute. And all of that has put a stress on me. A stress I wasn’t exactly prepared to deal with. The stress pushed me into myself, to the point that I didn’t want to talk to people. Meaning I was isolated from everyone, which didn’t help the situation any. And of course on the day that I actually want to talk to people, there’s no one available.

Next weekend I’m going away on a trip with the youth group at my church so that my brother can get some of his community service hours. (That’s a whole ‘nother story that I’m not going into now, or probably ever.) There’ll be something like 15 kids there. So that’s gonna be a fun challenge for me. For two reasons. One: Some of them don’t think of me as someone they have to respect because I’m in college and not really an adult. Two: I’ve got to take my laptop so that I can get schoolwork done. I have a video project due the day after we get back home. I have biology that always needs doing. I have three labs due the Wednesday we’re back in classes.

I desperately want to spend some time with my best guy friend. I’ve seen him for all of half an hour in the last three weeks. I’m aching so bad for his hugs it’s depressing. He means everything to me. He’s the one person I can talk to about anything, no matter what. There’s a reason for that, but I’m not in a position that I can disclose that information. All I can say is that while I understand what’s going on, I’m still upset about it and wish like hell that I could see him and talk to him at night.

I’m trying to find ways to relax, but it’s not easy. There’s constantly something going on at my house. Something that someone needs my help with. Something that’s not really possible to ignore. I know that it sounds like I’m making excuses, but welcome to my life. I don’t really have time to myself. My escapes are when I’m sleeping, doing homework (which is far from relaxing), watching Netflix, or catching up on Switched at Birth once a week. (Speaking of which, I might do a post on that after the winter half season finale on the 17th.)

I’m actually really really excited about the video project that’s due on the 17th. I know that sounds crazy, but it’s the truth. We have to pick a famous person and sign about their life for two minutes. Now, that might sound easy, but it’s not. Picking a celebrity was more difficult than I thought it would be. Originally I thought I would do Sean Berdy (he plays Emmett on Switched at Birth), but there wasn’t enough information to be found. So I thought I’d do Marlee Matlin, but then I realized that she seemed like too obvious a choice since this is for my ASL 3 class. I text my sister and asked her to help me brainstorm people to do. In the end, I wound up deciding on Ellen DeGeneres. She’s a name that people know well, but they probably don’t know much about. I had a lot of fun reading about her and finding life events to put into the video.
– Her parents divorced two years before she graduated high school
– She only went to one semester of college
– She was the first openly gay/lesbian person to host the Academy Awards
– She’s a comedian
– She’s written three books
– She’s the voice of Dory in Finding Nemo (don’t make fun of me for not knowing that before…)
And that’s not even everything that I have for the video; that’s just the major stuff I can list 
without specific years.

I don’t know what else I can say without my brain trying to explode. I’ve basically sucked it dry. I mean, this is the longest post I’ve put up yet…