always drinking coffee | forever dreaming about tattoos

Bursting Hearts

You know that feeling you get when you have a crush?

The butterflies in your stomach. The buckling of your knees. The warm blush in your cheeks. The silly little smile on your face. The lightness of your heart. The inability to speak a coherent sentence.

That’s how it feels when you’re around.

I don’t know what it is about you that has my heart doing cartwheels in my chest, but i can’t get enough of that feeling. I see you and my sadness or anger melts away into a content feeling. I’m not upset, and I’m not elated; I’m relaxed to the point that nothing else around really matters.

You try to put me on top of Mt. Everest and boost my self-confidence with all the compliments you feed me. I don’t need makeup around you. Even when I’m in sweats and my makeup’s a wreck, you still think I’m beautiful. My heart will never be too big for my chest because the love I have for those close to me just overflows.

You have a way with words that I haven’t experienced before. Everything you say comes out perfectly and without effort. It’s like you don’t ever have to think about what you say. Your jokes, even when they’re not funny, always make me giggle. You know just what to say to make me feel better. You never doubt that I have a glorious bright future ahead of me. You encourage me when I’m down on myself. You help me fight the demons off.

I want to stay in your arms until I have enough happiness to last me till we’re together again. Because when we’re separated, I feel like I’m not wholly me; you have a small piece of my heart. I ache for your arms around me when I lay in bed at night long after you’ve drifted off into your Dreamland. A place where I hope we are together yet again. But as sleep evades me, I want you to kiss the back of my neck and whisper in my ear that you’ll always be there for me. Hold me gently but tightly in your arms until my breathing evens out, telling you that I’m asleep. Put a dream catcher above my bed to ward off the nightmares that plague my unconscious.


Be there for me as I stumble out of bed and into the kitchen in the morning. I want to sit at the table slowly drinking my coffee while watching those blue eyes of yours show me the smile of your heart. You don’t really drink coffee, but you tolerate it today for me because it’s a special day – we have been living together for a hear. We haven’t had a major argument yet – I am so proud of us darling. We’ve planned a in-home date for ourselves for tonight as a sort of celebration. I am going to stay home, clean and get everything ready for tonight while you’re at work. I need to pick up a few things from the grocery store for you to make dinner tonight. Then, while you are cooking, I am going to get myself all dressed up.

I have everything laid for myself. My favorite red heels and your favorite black dress of mine. I have plans for my hair and makeup as well. Everything tonight needs to be perfect. I don’t want anything to go wrong. It’s not that I think it will, I’m just anxious and a tad worried about it all because we haven’t done anything like this before.

Your eyes grow large when you see me exit the bedroom. You haven’t seen me this dressed up for anything other than my senior prom. And even that was only pictures. You’re amazed at the sight. You tell me that I’m glowing. You’ve never been more in love with me than you are now.

As we eat, I tell you that the meal is perfect. You did an excellent job. I call you handsome as you take the dishes to the sink. We pour ourselves some wine and select some music. I think it’s just so we can sit and talk with some background noise. After I’ve had a few sips of my wine, you take my glass and set it on the counter. You extend you hand to mine and ask if I would like to dance. It’s always been a cliché fantasy of mine to dance with my guy at home just because we can, and here you are making that dream come true. I could not be happier with you. You turn on the song that was playing when we first kissed. I didn’t think you remembered it honestly. But I guess you’re more sentimental than I thought.

My mind drifts back to the day we moved in together. Everything was so stressful. But you pulled out your phone, played my favorite song and made me start dancing so I’d loosen up. It was a perfect moment for me. It’s such a happy memory. As I come back to reality, I see you down on one knee with a little box in your hand. You slowly open the box, revealing a sparkling ring. You look up at me with hope in your eyes and ask me to marry you. A surprised smile crosses my face as I giggle and tell you yes.

You stand up to put the ring on my finger and give me the most gentle but passionate kiss I have ever had in my life.

You are now my forever future and my heart is bursting with joy.

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About Me

Hello! Welcome! My name is Katy!
You can find me drinking coffee until it’s time for wine. Currently have 5 tattoos, but plans for more are in the works.
I’m a birthmom over 8 years post placement. I’ve been in a birthmom support group since November 2018, and will be leading my own come May 2023.
On Sunday mornings you can usually find me in the nursery or on the production team at church.
Various times throughout the year, you can find me staying with someone’s dog(s) while they’re away on a trip – so don’t be surprised if there are stories or pictures every so often.

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