CoffeeTattoos

Trying to maintain a good attitude about everything when I’m struggling to find the right medication for my bipolar disorder is difficult. It’s not easy day to day, when I feel like everything is going wrong, to keep a smile on and tell everyone that I’m doing well when all I want to do is crash to the ground.

I’m starting to do better with my meds, but I’m still dealing with side effects.

The last medication I tried, Lamictal (generic: Lamotrogine), wound up with me in the ER. I took it two years ago, so I’m not sure what changed in that time. But I immediately stopped taking the medication – per doctor instructions – and started taking the Abilify 5mg for a week and then upped to 10mg.

I want to be able to say that I’m doing good with it, but it makes me sleepy all the time and I get dizzy too. Not like massively affecting anything dizzy, but it still sucks. Although there are times where I can’t do much of anything because my dizziness is so bad. My focus isn’t here so I can’t always keep track of something as easily as I used to. There’s worse side effects that I could be dealing with, I know, but any side effect sucks to deal with.

I’m not giving up on this fight yet. I really want to because it’s just too much to handle sometimes. But I know that I have to push through the difficult times in order to find the good ones. I’ve got people standing behind me pushing me along when I want to give up, so I know I’ve got good people around me.