Sarah Fader, of Old School/New School Mom, and the CEO & Founder of Stigma Fighters, decided that there was too much narcissism on the internet and started #ThankfulThursdays. In honor of this new hashtag, I’ve got a guest post for y’all today. I want to honor a wonderful young woman that inspires me to be strong even when I’m feeling weak in the face of depression. In fact, that’s what she’s talking about in her post here on my blog today!
Depression is that best friend you never wanted. Never leaving your side, always whispering mean secrets into your ear, telling you the blatant “truth” about you that you try to forget, and always jealous when you spend time with your other friends. But just like any other best friend, we believe the things they say.
It’s a liar, telling you things you believe about yourself that aren’t true.
That’s what depression is; that evil “best friend” who in reality doesn’t care about you and only tries to hold you back and weigh you down.
But sometimes, we feel like depression is our only friend.
I’ve been there. I spent years feeling like depression was my only friend; the only real constant, always there and never leaving. And god knows there were times I wished he wasn’t. Times were I felt so low I wanted to end it all. I just wanted to be done, be free from the pain and that small voice in the back of my head. I wanted the whispers of depression to stop.
There are good days, days where I don’t feel so low. Where for a while I can feel like I am ok. And I enjoy those days. Not a care in the world.
But then, there are the bad days. See the tricky thing about depression, there isn’t always a reason. Sometimes you just feel low. Some days I wake up without the energy to get of bed or get dressed. And I lay there waiting for some spark of motivation to come that will make me get up. Sadly, most of the time that motivation is simply a need to use the restroom, which ends with me laying on the couch, waiting once again for a spark of motivation.
That’s depression. Sometimes, I just need a sick day. A day to feel what I have to feel and do what I have to do without being expected to fit perfectly into society and do the whole being social thing.
I used to feel bad about that. A form of guilt really, for not doing everything I needed to do that day. Or not being my normal social self. But I don’t anymore. I realized that depression is a serious illness, and thus I should be allowed to my sick days. I should be allowed to take care of myself, mentally just as much as physically.
From now on, I won’t be ashamed of my bad days. I won’t be ashamed of having to do me and having to do whatever I have to do to get through.
Bad days happen. And that’s ok.
Hi, I’m Courtney, a 17 year old writer, blogger, YouTuber, and most importantly, mental health advocate. I suffer from PTSD and depression. But I found my voice in the world, and try to use it to inspire others as well as educate about mental illnesses. And I am also the Content Manager for Stigma Fighters Teen. Find me at http://courtneysvoice.com/ or on Twitter: https://twitter.com/courtneys_voice