always drinking coffee | forever dreaming about tattoos


Now that I’m back in classes, I’m starting to wonder if I’ve got anxiety. I have a psychiatry appointment tomorrow, and I think I need to bring it up with my doctor. Things just aren’t right. I looked up a list of symptoms for Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), and I freakishly feel that a lot of them apply to me.

  • Excessive, ongoing worrying and tension
    • The mass worrying, I can’t pin to one thing, but I always feel like there’s something I need to be thinking about because otherwise I’ll end up doing something wrong.
  • Unrealistic view of problems
    • I always think that things are going to be worse than they are, even the smallest things.
  • Restlessness or a feeling of being “edgy”
    • I can’t sit still most times. In class, I’m always fidgeting with something.
  • Irritability
    • I snap at the smallest things, so frequently that it’s absurd.
  • Muscle tension
    • Even if I’m just sitting in class, I feel like I have knots in my shoulders.
  • Headaches
    • I’ve given up on recording when I have headaches because they happen so often.
  • Sweating
    • I don’t really deal with the sweating too much, unless where I am is quite warm – but then I feel like it’s temperature related and not due to anxiety.
  • Difficulty concentrating
    • I find it so difficult to focus in all of my classes, especially Lori’s and KT’s because they’re in ASL. So if I’m not looking, I miss something. And trying to understand a class taught in my second language is difficult enough without difficulty concentrating.
  • Nausea
    • The nausea is worst when I don’t get enough sleep, or if I don’t eat breakfast before I go to school. Other than that, it’s not too bad.
  • Need to go to bathroom frequently
    • I constantly have to go to the bathroom, even if I’m not drinking a whole lot that day.
  • Tiredness
    • Feeling tired is a constant in my life, even if I got “enough” sleep – which is usually too much because getting up in the mornings when I don’t have a plan for the day is a huge struggle.
  • Trouble falling or staying asleep
    • Even with being on Seroquel with has a sedative effect, I still have trouble falling asleep.
  • Trembling
    • Unless I’m doing a huge presentation, or I’m going to be in front of a huge amount of people, I don’t have problems with trembling.
  • Easily startled
    • If I manage to focus on something, I jump if someone comes up behind me or says something to me when I can’t see them.

And those are just the things that are listed. I also, very frequently, opt out of going to church if I don’t need to go. I really only need to go one Sunday a month because I’m on the video team so I deal with recording the service so that we can put the video on the website for people who couldn’t make it.

I’m wondering if I’ll need to have another medication added to deal with a potential anxiety disorder. This is not something that I like the idea of. I don’t want to have to take more medication. I just don’t know if I truly have something, or if I’m just weird and have issues that don’t equate to a mental illness. I’m just hoping to get answers tomorrow at my appointment.

Oh, I should probably also add that I’ve had panic attacks in the past and was given medication for that. I should probably bring that up because I was seeing a different psychiatrist at that point.

Ugh, I’m really not looking forward to tomorrow…

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About Me

Hello! Welcome! My name is Katy!
You can find me drinking coffee until it’s time for wine. Currently have 5 tattoos, but plans for more are in the works.
I’m a birthmom over 8 years post placement. I’ve been in a birthmom support group since November 2018, and will be leading my own come May 2023.
On Sunday mornings you can usually find me in the nursery or on the production team at church.
Various times throughout the year, you can find me staying with someone’s dog(s) while they’re away on a trip – so don’t be surprised if there are stories or pictures every so often.

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