Adjusting to My Truck

Here on CoffeeTattoos, I don’t have a real type of post. But even so, this isn’t anything that I would typically post about.

I got my truck about a month ago. And even though it’s the vehicle I pretty much learned to drive in, I’m still adjusting to it.

I named her Old Miss Bessie.

She’s a 2001 Ford Ranger, and she has just over 101k miles on her.

Kept in really good condition by my grandparents, so she’s not something that’s really a worry for me.

But since she’s got so many miles on it, there’s some maintenance that needs to be done. I need to do an oil change. I also need to check the spark plugs, PCV valve, and the serpentine belt.

Nothing that should be too expensive if I do it on my own.

Having my truck now, and my grandmother talking about her health going downhill, it scares me a little. But as long as I have this truck, she’ll always be with me. I don’t want to think that way though. It’s just too saddening.


Here she is, Old Miss Bessie


A Few Lists

Favorite Books

  • James Patterson – Maximum Ride Series
  • Jodi Picoult – My Sister’s Keeper
  • Lianne Moriarty – The Husband’s Secret

Currently Reading

  • Nightfall by Jake Halpern & Peter Kujawinski

Favorite TV Shows

  • Top Gear UK
  • Friends
  • Gilmore Girls
  • Parenthood
  • New Girl
  • The Vampire Diaries
  • Switched at Birth
  • The Fosters
  • Chasing Life

Favorite Movies

  • The Sound of Music
  • The Nightmare Before Christmas
  • Willie Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (the original)
  • Drumline
  • Alice in Wonderland (the Tim Burton Version)

Drinks (nonalcoholic)

  • COFFEE – hot or iced
  • Sweet tea
  • Chai
  • Mango tea

Drinks (alcoholic)

  • Kahlua and cream
  • Toasted Almond
  • Pink Pinetree
  • Tequila Sunrise
  • White Russian
  • SoCo & Mtn Dew
  • Ginger Ale & Amaretto

Honoring Sarah Fader

I know I did a post for Sarah’s birthday back in October, but this is something different.

Sarah, or as she and I have taken to calling each other, Koala, is an irreplaceable person in my life.

Yes, she’s my boss, but she’s also one of my best friends.

No matter what the issue has been, Sarah has always been there for me.

When I was struggling with finding the right medication for my bipolar disorder, she was there (virtually) for me the whole way. Because she knows what it’s like to feel like you’re a guinea pig when searching for medications.

When my grandmother passed away (very recently), I was indirectly told by her to take my time getting back to my work on formatting our second anthology.

She’s a single mom, living in NYC, raising two rambunctious kids. I don’t know how she does it. But she does, and she’s a badass for it!

She has been living with panic disorder since she was a teenager. But she has come out the other side of that ordeal stronger and knowing how to handle it as an adult. Rock on lady!

Even when she’s struggling with her depression or anxiety, if she can help someone else with a problem they’re having, she will. And that’s an incredible thing.

She’s been supporting herself and her kids writing articles for different sites, like The Huffington Post, Quartz, Psychology Today, Ravishly, YourTango, and The Good Men Project.

She took the idea of having a place for people living with mental illness to share their stories, starting it as a section on her personal blog, and turned it into an amazing national nonprofit organization – Stigma Fighters. I don’t have many people in my life who can say that. I’m so incredibly proud to be able to call her my friend!

I’m not trying to embarass you in any way.
I just wanted to talk about how awesome you are and share it with the world.

Panic Attacks

First off, I want to apologize for this post being rather short. I am currently dealing with a family matter that is preventing me from being in the correct headspace to really do too much writing right now. I will do by best to keep posting on Fridays, but things may be on the shorter side for a while.

Panic attacks are awful.

They’re the worst thing I can imagine. I’ve had a couple, and I can honestly say that I would not wish that on even my worst enemy. Well, there may be a few people I would. Panic attacks are really that bad.

My lovely friend Sarah Fader has written about living with panic disorder many times before. So, while I’m sure she could do a wonderful job explaining it, much better than myself, I’m still going to try my hand at putting my experiences and advice into words for y’all.

My first panic attack was back in like Feb 2013. I was at a huge mall with a friend. We’d gone looking for a pair of shoes for me for this fundraiser I was gonna be working at. Everything was going fine till we went to the food court. I couldn’t decide what I wanted to eat.

I remember looking around at all the different places, and all the people, just feeling like I was trapped.
My breathing got shallow.
My heart started racing.
My head was starting to spin.
I didn’t know what was happening, but I knew I had to go somewhere else.

My friend kept asking me what was happening, if I was okay, if there was anything they could do.
I didn’t know what was happening. I had absolutely no clue I was having a panic attack. It had never happened to me before.
Everything at that point was overwhelming and scary. Like nothing I’d ever dealt with before.

To cope with them, I really don’t have any advice to give you. All I can really do is tell you what I do to get through them.

To be completely truthful, the only thing I really do is whatever I can to distract myself from the situation that’s caused the panic attack.