South Dakota

South Dakota recently passed legislation that allows adoption agencies to discriminate against LGBTQIA couples. It passed, 43-20-7.

I know there are people in the world today who have very different opinions about the community than I do, but that’s not what I want to talk about. I want to share with you my feelings and opinions about the bill that SD has passed.


 

I talked with my sister about this and she said, “I wish this was something no one had to feel any way about because I wish it wasn’t a thing that happened.” And that’s how I feel about it too. But as a birthmom, maybe I have stronger feelings than someone who doesn’t know the adoption process or have any connection to it.

I feel that adoption should be available to anyone who wants to expand their family that way, LGBTQIA couples included. I honestly don’t understand why people would say that they’re not worthy of being able to adopt. It pains me to think that. LGBTQIA couples can be amazing parents, just like heterosexual couples.

Why are they different? To me, they’re not.

When I chose the family to place my daughter, I felt it that they were right. It wouldn’t have happened with the agency we used, but if the family I fell for had been part of the LGBTQIA community, it wouldn’t have mattered. At all. I knew they were right because I just felt it in my heart and my gut.

But South Dakota passing this bill that legally allows discrimination against these couples is preventing prospective birthmoms from having that same moment when looking through profiles as they just connect and know they’re right. It’s forcing couples to go through lawyers, which can be more expensive and take more time and effort.

I have a good friend, Courtney of Living Queer, who is part of the LGBTQIA community, so I asked them a few questions.

Q: As part of the LGBTQIA community, would you and your partner consider adoption?
       A: Yes we would

Q: Because you can technically pass as female, would you make it known to the agency that you are an LGBTQIA couple or would you fear discrimination and not tell?
       A: I honestly would probably fear discrimination and not tell unless I had continued my transition and couldn’t pass anymore


 

In doing more research, I’ve discovered that other states (Michigan, North Dakota, and Virginia) have similar bills that allow discrimination without fear of retribution. I wasn’t aware of this, and it bothers me. I live in one of those states.

It will also allow agencies to discriminate against single and divorced people, couples who engage in premarital sex, interfaith couples, and anyone else whose behavior or identity violates an agency’s “religious belief or moral conviction.”

Sen. Alan Solano is a Republican from Rapid City. He wrote the bill with help from a staff member of Catholic Social Services. They are an agency who will only place infants with couples who are opposite sex, married at least two years, and unable to conceive children on their own, among other requirements.


 

I don’t know why I thought that this was something new, or that similar things hadn’t already happened in other states, but even days/weeks later, it makes me upset. I hate the idea that there are couples out there who are being denied the chance to adopt. There are so many couples (straight, lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, of differing faiths, it doesn’t matter) who are wanting to adopt, but there are these rules that are preventing them from doing so with certain agencies.

And yes, I understand that there are other ways to adopt than private agencies. But that could require going through the state foster system, and that can cause more stress than necessary.

Yes, every child deserves a loving home, but some couples just don’t have it in them to handle the foster system. Especially if the child is older and can go back to their case worker and say they don’t like the family they’re with. That may be something the couple isn’t emotionally ready to face.

Riptide Cover Reveal

Handsome muscular man holding surfboard over blue sky with white clouds.


Synopsis:Riptide Cover final

Avery Dacosta never expected to find a protester in front of her office.

Especially not now, when she’s this close to achieving a professional milestone years in the making: building a luxury hotel on Playa Vieja, San Diego’s untouched beach paradise.

Finn Travis, local surfer and all-around nice guy, never expected to find himself the leader of Playa Vieja’s resistance. He’s more of a mellow tree-hugger than a radical activist. Except Avery’s hotel threatens to destroy the place he loves the most. For the first time in his life, Finn decides to use his charisma for more than just attracting his next fling.

Avery’s worked too hard to let a bongo-playing hippie like Finn shatter her perfect future. And his naive idealism grates on her every nerve.

She’s not alone in her loathing: Finn thinks Avery is a greedy, corporate robot.

As Avery and Finn crash together like waves against the shore, their debates become heated. Sexy.

Dirty.

But the riptide of their attraction jeopardizes more than just their ideological values. Can Avery and Finn be together without giving up what they care about the most?

Cropped image of sensual beautiful young couple having sex on bed


Buy Links: Coming April 4th


Author Bio:

author photoKathryn Nolan writes erotic romance novels and quick-and-dirty novellas. She loves a smart, strong heroine. She likes her heroes filthy-mouthed (and not afraid to bend a little).

And she’s all about that slow-burn sexual tension.

When she’s not at her day job (which is top-secret) she enjoys feminism, foreplay and having her nose in a book.

She’s a morning writer, a bike commuter, and the world’s biggest X-Files fan.


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Tempting Series Cover Reveal

 


Synopsis:

Tempting Teaser 3Tempting
Amazon Erotic Best Seller

His body climbing over mine.
My teeth biting his neck.
His scent on my skin.
My nails carving a path down his back.
His commands whispered in my ear.
All of my senses filled with him.
I knew it was bad. But I craved more.

It had begun innocently enough, bumping into one another in a crowded Boston bar. What followed that night had been anything but innocent.

Because I’d known, even as he’d slid inside of me, that he was my professor. I’d pursued him, a predator stalking its prey.

And he didn’t know I was his student.

But he would.

***

Author’s note: This isn’t a jail bait student/teacher novel with a butterflies-in-the-belly kind of romance. The characters portrayed in this novel are consenting adults with functioning brains. If curse words, sex, and hard ass college professors with secrets offend you, move right along.


Beguiling teaser 1v3Beguiling:

Hate: to dislike intensely or passionately; feel extreme aversion for or extreme hostility toward.

Scarlet Jennings, the preacher’s daughter who lived across the street, was a royal, uptight pain in my ass. When she looked at me, she saw a college quarterback asshole with rocks for brains, but she didn’t have a single word for what was happening between us.

When we were forced to ride together every single day that summer, there was definitely some dislike going on. Extreme hostility was a given, considering that we were spending so much time together in close quarters.

One night of bed-breaking, body-shattering, lose-your-voice-from-screaming passion had surprised us both, but it was only just the beginning…


Provocative:

Coming home to a quiet, dark house.
Meals by myself, because she was already done.
Excuses and apologies, they were never enough.
But even with that, when I touched her—when she arched under me and pulled me deeper— we couldn’t get back to where we needed to be.
Where we used to be.
It was all frustration.
Loneliness.
Loss.

Because even though she was no longer my student, the chemistry was always there.
Adele and I loved each other.
We thought we were unshakeable.
But love isn’t always enough.
It wasn’t enough when I constantly disappointed her.
It wasn’t enough when loss cleaved us in two.
And when she left me, love was not enough.
She didn’t know yet that I’d never stop fighting for her.
But she would.

**Author’s note- Let’s be real clear that this is BOOK TWO of a duet, and you’re going to want to read Tempting before you read this one. Adele and Nathan started their story in that book, and you’ll get the same sex, fighting, and cursing that you did in the first. But if you want it to make sense, read Tempting first. If any of that offends you, please avoid them both.**


Addicted GraphicAddicted:

Addiction: the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming.

Ruby was sin and sex.
The ultimate indulgence and worth every penny she cost me. I paid for her body, but didn’t know she’d end up embedded in my soul.
Elias was dark and tempting.
Unmatched in intensity and passion compared to my other clients. He handed me cash in exchange for my touch, and he dug himself into my heart instead.
Money changes things, firms up the lines of a relationship. But when it becomes an addiction—an all-consuming, life-changing addiction—the lines are completely obliterated.  


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Author Bio:

Alex Lucian is an author living on the eastern coast of the United States who appreciates being anonymous, for personal and professional reasons. Tempting is Alex’s first novel.


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Giveaway: https://gleam.io/ptOrk/the-tempting-series-box-set-cover-reveal


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Self Care Ideas

  • Unplug for an hour
  • Take a quick nap (10-20 min)
  • Write out your thoughts
  • Splurge a little
  • Have a self date (an hour alone doing something that nourishes you)
  • Take a home spa
  • Do one thing a day just because it makes you happy
  • Activate your self-soothing system
  • Check in with your emotions
  • Take a hot shower or bath
  • Deep condition your hair
  • Apply a face mask
  • Turn off your phone
  • Escape with a TV show
  • Light a candle
  • Paint your nails
  • Color
  • Write in a journal
  • Have your favorite dessert
  • Take a deep breath and put things into perspective
  • Go for a drive
  • Have a cup of tea
  • Read a book
  • Wear comfy clothes
  • Watch your favorite show/movie

Open Letter to Prospective Birthmother

Hey there love,

I know things right now are scary. I’ve been in your shoes. I know how you feel.

You’re afraid of judgement on your situation. You’re afraid your child will grow up and hate you for placing them. You might be afraid that the adoptive parents will break their promises down the road.

I heart stories about all kind of different ways adoptions turned out. I know there is no way to predict how things will go down the road, so all you can ready do is hope for the best.

My daughter was placed when she was ten days old. Her parents didn’t have any kids before, so we’re all navigating open adoption for the first time together. But now I want to share some things I’ve learned along the way.

If your adoption agency allows you to have a hand in choosing the family to place your child with, do it. It can be overwhelming, but I highly suggest following your gut. You’ll know the right family when you see them.

When you go into labor and deliver your baby, there will be lots of emotions. You may cry, and that’s totally okay. See your baby when you feel ready. Don’t let anyone rush you or tell you you shouldn’t.

Take pictures of your baby. Take pictures of you together. Send them to the adoptive parents if you can. Those moments with him/her in the hospital are precious memories. Having those pictures and memories are a help when you’re having a bad day – or at least they have been for me.

Don’t be afraid of the social worker who comes in while you’re in the hospital. It’s standard procedure, and they just want to make sure you weren’t pressured into choosing adoption for your child.

You are not less of a person because of the choice you made to place. I know you might feel that way, but I promise you are still such an amazing person. Do not let anyone make you feel bad about the decision you made.

You are giving the family you choose such an amazing gift. You are giving them a baby! You are gaining a new family through your child’s adoption. Enjoy your new life to come!

xoxo
Katy