Trying to Save My Sanity

Those days where you look outside and the weather matches your mood? Today is one of those days. It’s chilly and rainy and horridly dreary outside. And I’m feeling pretty crappy today. I’m not quite sure why, but I am. And that’s really just the way it goes sometimes.

Maybe I’m missing someone.
Maybe I just woke up on the wrong side of the day.
Maybe I’m dreading the math test I was supposed to take today – but forgot my exam pass and wallet so I can’t take it now, which means I have to come back today or tomorrow to take it.
Maybe I’m just simply having a bad day – and it’s 2pm so that’s possible.

I don’t have the answer. But that’s ok.

What sounds good right now is: curling up at home in the library, under a blanket, with a mug of vanilla chai, with a book to read. Yes, that really is what today makes me want to do. But I’m stuck at school. 14 hours on campus. It makes for some long days.

I may go through books on my kindle and see if I can find something to read. I’ve got plenty there – it’s just a matter of choosing one and starting to read.

I really don’t know what I’m trying to accomplish here, with this post, but I needed something to do, so this is what I came up with. Sure, I could be doing a million other things. However, there a words/thoughts flying around in my brain preventing me from truly focusing on anything besides releasing anything else.

My partner and I did our presentation in deaf culture that was supposed to be done on Monday. There were all kinds of technical difficulties that prevented more than one and a half groups from going. But oh well. I’m done now and that’s all that matters to me.

I ran into someone from church after my class finished and walked with her to her next class. Next Monday she said I’m welcome to come hang out with her and she’ll take a break from grading papers for a bit to chat. So that’ll be something different. And it’ll give me a chance to do something else besides homework or blogging in my massive gap between classes.

Long Days

Being at school 14 hours straight makes for a very long day. It’s not easy finding ways to keep busy all day long. There’s only so much school work I can do in one sitting. But then I’m tired of sitting where I am, so I have to go find somewhere else to work. And after a while I get tired of working on school stuff, so I’m forced to get creative: 

  • What YouTube videos haven’t I seen?
  • What (free) books am I interested in on Kindle?
  • What else can I add to my birthday/christmas list?
  • What blog posts haven’t I read yet?
  • Is there a blog post I could write for mine?

My online math class started yesterday, but I didn’t start it till today. It’s more than likely going to be the death of me. However, I’ve got a friend who’s willing to help me with stuff so hopefully I won’t get overwhelmed, drown, and fail the class. I know it’s gonna be a lot more work now on top of all my ASL classes, but that’s just the way college is.
I’m actually going to the school library tonight to start working on my math class. It’s gonna be a challenge/struggle for me because I’ve never taken an online class, much less an online math class.

I think part of my shortened attention span has to do with my depression – or at least I’ve read that that can be an issue. I’m hoping that my medication will help with that, but I don’t know for sure.

Last night was the first time I slept through the night since I started taking my medication. I don’t know if that’s a good thing, or if it was just a coincidence. I guess I’ll find out tonight/tomorrow after I’ve either woken up several times or barely remember falling asleep.