NaBloPoMo – Day 30

Make a list of 30 things that make you smile

  1. good books
  2. new episodes of my favorite show(s) on Netflix
  3. perfume
  4. LuLaRoe
  5. shea/cocoa butter
  6. cozy blankets
  7. hoodies
  8. coffee
  9. free stuff for hosting parties
  10. perfectly applying lipstick first try
  11. hugs
  12. birth control I don’t have to worry about daily
  13. catching up with friends
  14. seeing former teachers I really liked
  15. snuggling little tiny babies
  16. Thanksgiving at my aunt’s house
  17. The Grand Tour on Amazon Prime
  18. jeans that fit perfectly
  19. perfectly painted nails 
  20. putting feelings down on paper
  21. driving “back country” roads
  22. knee socks
  23. boots 
  24. music that fits the mood prefectly
  25. crawling into bed after a long day
  26. sweater/hoodie weather
  27. YouTube stationary hauls & posts on IG
  28. sentimental gifts
  29. getting new pictures of my daughter
  30. when I get to see my daughter

COVER REVEAL: Deny Me by Fiona Cole (NaBloPoMo – Day 3)

teaser

Title: Deny Me

Author: Fiona Cole

Release Date: Nov 21, 2016

Add to Goodreadshttp://bit.ly/2d79SIY


coverSynopsis:

Jameson King.

My best friend’s brother and the person who could make an Olympic sport of ignoring my relentless teasing and taunting.

I was a live-in- the-moment girl flirting with a man who always looked to the future. He was traditional, carrying the weight of his whole family on his broad shoulders, and I had been taught to never fall in love, focusing on my career instead of a future with anyone.

He tried to deny me, tried to deny the passion simmering between us, bubbling under the surface of every game we played.

But all that changed during one week in Jamaica. Falling into bed with Jameson was easy, but falling in love was out of the question.


Pageflex Persona [document: PRS0000039_00014]


Author Info:

authorFiona Cole is a military wife and a stay at home mom with a degree in Biology and Chemistry. As much as she loved science she decided to postpone her career to stay at home with her two little girls and immersed herself in the world of books until finally deciding to write her own.


Facebookhttp://bit.ly/2f0v13p

Twitterhttp://bit.ly/2faEZlL

Goodreadshttp://bit.ly/2edmatN

 

Finding Dory Reaction

I finally went to see Finding Dory in theaters (back on July 5th). I don’t like going right when movies open cause everyone’s there and it’s just too crowded for me, so I went with a friend on a Tuesday night.

I’ve seen a post going around Facebook from an adoptive mom saying that Finding Dory is a movie that should be screened before taking your kids to see it. And to some degree, I can understand that. But you also need to know your child and whether or not they can handle something like that. I feel like the adoptive mom who said it, and those who agree with her, are the ones who aren’t ready to have a discussion about the birthmother with their child. It’s really not that difficult.

This is what’s going around for everyone to see:

“WARNING! Before seeing Finding Dory, all foster/adoptive parents should preview the movie first! We thought our teenage bio kids & 9 yr.-old adopted son (we’ve had him for 4+ yrs) could see it without us previewing it. Our kids sat in the row in front of us. Halfway through the movie, our 100 lb., very tall son, got up and came and sat on my lap for the duration of the movie. Dory has childhood flashbacks throughout the movie as she seeks to find her birth parents. The movie deals with multiple levels of abandonment and loss. While the ending is sweet as she is reunited with her birth parents & we realize her birth parents were looking for her too, there are elements of the ending that can have detrimental results for our adopted kids.

1) It was Dory’s forgetfulness that caused her to be separated from her parents…. basically, her separation was her fault.

2) Her birth parents were physically, emotionally, & mentally stable and ACTIVELY seeking for her. This is not the case for MOST of our tender-hearted kiddos. This birth parent ‘fairytale image’ can create a false image in their forming minds.

3) At the end of the movie, once Dory, Marlin & Nemo find Dory’s birth parents, they ALL (including the birth parents) travel back together to Dory & Nemo’s home and all live TOGETHER Happily Ever After. Some young foster/adopted kids might think that is the end goal.

So, bottom line… preview the movie first & evaluate for each child. There are some heavy topics brought up in the movie that are difficult for every foster/adopted child to deal with even at older ages, so don’t think this cute Disney movie is for everyone.”

Everyone has been seeing/hearing the adoptive parent side of it, but I think now it’s time to hear the birth parent side of it from one of us…

Let me touch on each of this woman’s points before going into my rant about what I think happened here.

1) Dory’s short term memory issues aren’t something she asked for – it just happened to her. If it was out of her control, it can’t really be her fault that she was separated from her parents.
It’s like saying that a child facing a challenge due to some medical issue they have, it’s their own fault if they fail. They never asked to have the medical issue, so it can’t be their fault.

2) I am a birth mother who more than likely could have cared for my child when they were born, but I knew that I couldn’t provide everything I wanted them to have. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t want to be part of my child’s life. That’s what open adoption is for. I still get to have a relationship with them, and be able to have conversations as they grow up about why I made the decision I did.

3) If you raise your adopted child to know who we are, allow us to be part of your/their life, and have conversations about why we made the decision we did then things won’t become complicated like that.

Okay, now for me to talk about what I think happened here: 

Honestly, I think that this woman hasn’t had (or even tried to have) a conversation with her adopted son about his birthmother. Now, maybe they don’t know about his birthmother. That could be part of the issue here. But I think it comes down to how comfortable the mom is with permitting the birthmother to be part of their lives.
When you have an adopted child, you have to know that things like this can (and inevitably will) happen, and figure out how you’re going to handle them. To me, it sounds like this adoptive mom hadn’t thought it would happen or thought about how to handle it. I can only hope she sat down with her husband and her son at home after the movie and talked about everything.

I also think that the mom is dealing with other things that are frustrating her and taking it out on the movie. There could be a lot of things that factored into her making that post, and I don’t know about them, so I can only write this response based on what I read and how I interpret it.

A Few Lists

Favorite Books

  • James Patterson – Maximum Ride Series
  • Jodi Picoult – My Sister’s Keeper
  • Lianne Moriarty – The Husband’s Secret

Currently Reading

  • Nightfall by Jake Halpern & Peter Kujawinski

Favorite TV Shows

  • Top Gear UK
  • Friends
  • Gilmore Girls
  • Parenthood
  • New Girl
  • The Vampire Diaries
  • Switched at Birth
  • The Fosters
  • Chasing Life

Favorite Movies

  • The Sound of Music
  • The Nightmare Before Christmas
  • Willie Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (the original)
  • Drumline
  • Alice in Wonderland (the Tim Burton Version)

Drinks (nonalcoholic)

  • COFFEE – hot or iced
  • Sweet tea
  • Chai
  • Mango tea

Drinks (alcoholic)

  • Kahlua and cream
  • Toasted Almond
  • Pink Pinetree
  • Tequila Sunrise
  • White Russian
  • SoCo & Mtn Dew
  • Ginger Ale & Amaretto